The Idea-smithy

My body really is a wonderland. It celebrates 29 years of existance this week. And I’m still discovering new things I can do with it.

I don’t feel old. Or older. Or wiser.

All I am is happy, very happy. I’ve felt very loved and cherished this month. Thank you, world.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Almost every single present I received this year was a book! Yes, my world finally understands me. And Landmark ought to make me honorary platinum-studded-with-diamonds something and give me books free for all the publicity and extra sales I’ve single-handedly generated for them!!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I’m happier and more grateful. I’m also thinking that it is worth learning to be a bit of a brat. Since people don’t always take you seriously or consider that you have feelings…unless you let them know it – I’m going to!!

So those of you who did not make it to my party or turned up and left in 20 minutes (yes, you know I’m talking to you…I hope you are cringing)…I’m very, very, very upset! Yes, I did have a number of wonderful people who did turn up and stay to celebrate with me. But people aren’t like oranges where if you lose one, you can pick up another. Each of you is special to me and irreplaceable. My party (and my life) is incomplete without your presence in it. And you reminded me of that on my birthday. Are you feeling guilty enough about it? Good, because I want you to. I would if I had done that, too.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

My parents think of the most amazing gifts! One year they organised a treasure hunt with each clue attached to a gift! Some of the things I received were a book, new sandals, a handbag, a gold chain, a diamond pendant and a stuffed toy. This year I received a book, a new blouse (the kind mum is always raising disapproving eyebrows at my wearing), a silk tie/sash and among other things…a set of towels! So cute, no? But I needed them anyway.

When I think back to the best gifts I’ve received from them…

1. Childcraft
2. The Landmark Forum
3. The lesson of always thinking for myself
4. Life

Yes, I’m aware that this is extremely Hallmark-greeting card. So I’m sentimental, so I’m cliched, so sue me.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A late realisation that made me feel good – while battling allegations that I..

- diet
- am anorexic
- suffer bulimia

…I protested,

But my body is that way!!! I haven’t lost an inch since I was sixteen. I’ve worn exactly the same size of jeans for all these years!!!

My friend observed that most people in their late (very late!) twenties couldn’t say that. Yes, errm.

And the Evil A.E. remarked on b-day,

You’re eating chips and cheese dip?! Now that you’re older you know you can’t be doing things like that..!

Phooey to him, I’ll eat what I like. And stay happy with that, I hope.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I also had some flash revelations right during my party.

1. I don’t fall in love easily. It’s like the second-most difficult thing on my planet, right after getting me to stop talking.

2. I am a wanter. When I want, I want want WANT want. Nothing stands in my way. Not emotions, not fairness, not relationships, not social approval. That’s quite different from caring, love or committment.

3. I find myself in possession of an ego. A SuperEgo. I don’t forgive easily (but of course I told you that). I can be annoyed, irritated, upset, angered, enraged, wrathful and furious. I know the difference between each of these. And the object of my ire will know…eventually.

4. There is too much ‘I’ in this list so I’m stopping right here. I’m bored easily, even by talk about myself.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

I even managed to spend an hour at my favorite bookstore, reading. If my ‘imaginary date’ had come looking for me, he would have found me in the very boy-aisle of comics/graphic novels reading the very girl “Spiderman loves Mary Jane“. I’m a just a girl in the boys’ section.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

So I had a party. The first one in this new house. The second one in my twenties, the last one being 5 years back. Only two guests from that party were at this one. One of them was my chaddi-buddy whom I’ve known since I was three. I gave him a rundown on the guests, adding “She’s a really good friend” to which he raised an eyebrow and said, “Tell me who isn’t?”. Well, I’m just lucky. In a way, sort of. I know some wonderful, lovely people. Only there are loads of them and they don’t all stay lovely for that long, simultaneously (especially if I date them, wherein they turn into Neanderthal man-meets-Psychopathic Creep). So there’s a new set of wonderful, lovely people now. But I really, truly adore them all to bits.

Maybe it isn’t that I’m not meant for love. Maybe I’m meant exclusively for short-term love.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

They say Cancerians are loyal. They say we’re changeable too. I’ll quote something I read a long time ago…

Here’s to me and here’s to you
And here’s to love and laughter
I’ll be true as long as you
Not a single moment after

And that is my birthday toast to my body, my relationships and to this world. Cheers!