The Idea-smithy

An actual conversation with someone who wishes to stay low-profile but has some very HIGH hopes indeed!

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Hmph. I’m surrounded by wise guys, Alec Smarts and evil pranksters.

Working from home for a day and when I get back, I realise my things-to-do list from 2 days earlier is still lying on my desk. As is my habit, I scan through it to see if there are any *shudder* carry-over tasks. And I’m stumped when I reach the end of the list…

14. Treat SNC and SFOS to lunch
15. Buy sweets for the whole office

I look around discreetly to see who’s giggling but the faces remain blank. So I tear it up and throw it away.

The other day I got up to get a printout and then stopped to have a chat. When I got back, my screen had turned over sideways. No kidding! The monitor was in its place, the keyboard didn’t look like it had been touched but the image on the screen was….well lying on its side. And whats worse, the mouse pointer seemed to have followed suit. Don’t even ask how I got out of that mess. 

It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya! While others battle office politics, I’m waging a war with a silent practical joker.

(image courtesy ComicBooks)

Here’s introducing a new category at The Idea-smithy. Remember Anjani’s tangy toes? And K’s funky bag?

Never one for fashion trends myself, I’ve always sported my own style and been at the receiving end of much flak, disbelief…and admiration. Anything off-beat or unusual on someone else catches my eye as well. We are all spectators at heart and it’s the sights that charm, entertain and enthrall us as much as our other senses. And let’s not forget -  Tomorrow is being born in the form of new ideas!

I Style! celebrates the spirit of individualism and the sparks of it that I spot in day-to-day life. The photographs may not be picture-perfect, the writing could be better but the sights will be fresh.

I’m also inviting contributions to I Style! If you spot someone wearing something whacky, something crazy, something unusual, stop and talk to them. And if they permit you to take a picture, do send it to me. I’ll be delighted to feature it on I Style! Just make sure you’ve got their permission to have it up on the internet. It would be good to take down their email address. If possible, capture the article that caught your eye with just enough detail to give perspective (size, colour, nature etc). Avoiding the face respects the spottee’s anonymity.

Else you’re just going to have to rely on my two eyes!

I’ll open I Style! with an image of a man who shows us the way. Meet…

Khalil Gebran
Fashions Designer

Happy Mother’s Day to my maddening, delightful, one-and-only mom!

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More idea-toons!

I’m not usually inclined to writing movie reviews, given I tried it on one of my other blogs and failed miserably to write anything interesting. But I just had to put my thoughts down on this just to remember the funny idea if not the movie.

Seen The Forbidden Kingdom as yet? Or have Iron Man, Khuda ke Liye and Race overwhelmed the once raging appetite for Kung-fu flicks. Speaking of which, where have all the Kung-fu lovers gone? Times were when Star Movies ran a series called Friday Fury telecasting the grand works of Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. Now that’s been reduced to a once-in-a-couple-of-years Chan release or (horror of horrors) dubbed versions on Filmy.

Cadet Larvell Jones of Police Academy was an expert at imitating all sorts of noises and one of the series had him do a routine of the typical Hollywood-dubbed Chopsuey flick, delivering chop-chops and complete with un-lip-synced psuedo-Eastern wisdom like,

The snake does not bend its neck. The mongoose will still catch it!

(….or something like that)
(more…)

The friendly neighborhood pet-puja-provider (also known as Piggy’s Poison Plaza at that much-neglected blog called Office Capers….someday I’ll start it up again) started it all with much fanfare on Monday announcing that the speshul menu on the 14th would be:

I was intrigued by the menu (an old bad habit, am afraid) but I didn’t risk the food, since Piggy has discovered V-day but hygiene remains a remote indecipherable concept.

Today at lunch, I said,

So no Sena trouble yesterday, right?

And the new kid on the office-block promptly replied,

Remember those MBA entrance group discussions? One guy would start shouting on some point. Ten minutes later an altogether different dude would be harping on the same thing a few decibels higher with Dude no.1 nowhere in the fray.

Strange but apt metaphor that, was the general lunch-table consensus.

Move over politicos, stock markets and temperatures…the queen of the media makes news again!

After another day spent panicking over the state of ‘the common man’ following the antics of our local politico-goons, Mumbai really must be back to normal if the news is any indication. Let’s check out what India TV thinks is big news today.

Rakhi Sawant slaps her boyfriend!!!

This comes on the heels of the very well-covered incident where Rakhi Sawant threw her boyfriend Abhishek Awasti out of their house and cried “BREAK-UP!”. I didn’t catch that on TV since everyone else was hogging the box for such mundane things as rioting, violence on the streets and politicians getting arrested. Fikar not, Rakhi gives me my time’s worth with today’s lunch news though.

Yesterday someone nudged me and told me that my favorite melodrama queen had broken up. I hastened to get in touch with the queen of desi bloggydom who reassured me that it was just a tiff and things should soon tide over. True to her word, Rakhi gives us some more entertainment (oops…news) today, which leads me to the conclusions that all queens have a soul connection with each other.

(Okay, I couldn’t find any good photographs of the event on the internet, so these are my own pathetic attempts. Used my camera-phone to shoot the TV so apologies in advance for the appalling photography…)

So we watch as the errant boyfriend (what exactly did he do to get her to scream?) goes down on bended knee and eats humble pie several times over. We ooh as he gets his mug punched over the obscenely huge bouquet of red roses….atta, girl Rakhi!!!

 Then he’s made to say “I love you” and promise never ever ever to hurt her again in English, Marathi (aayeechi shapath!) and Hindi. Reporters fall over each other and there’s much giggling, shoving, nudging and sniffling (?) to be heard while we’re told what’s big news on national TV…ooops India TV.

The heart almost aches for the boy. But that’s the price of being Mr.DramaQueen. Truly,

Is thapad ki goonj usse desh ke kone kone tak sunaai di!!

Last week, I was told,

You should really get used to distinguishing your online and offline life!

And I wondered if I was spending too much time online. Only 8 hours+ at work. Some blogging on weekends. Who’s counting email? And now anyone in the world can see my chosen apparel for the day with Yahoo! Avatars. Oh and there’s always Instant Messenger.

Instant Messenger is in constant use across timezones, plugging people in different countries into one office. On one hand I marvel at the wonder that I’m talking to people in three continents much more often than with friends and family in the same city. Out of sight, out of mind, they say. Well, these people are constantly in my line of view as long as the green dot is flashing next to their names! 

Today, I got an email from a colleague titled

* IM not working *

I had to read the email to discover that I was being asked to email for queries instead of assuming she was offline (and hence off-office for the day). I mailed back

For a minute, I thought you were saying “I’m not working!”

Haha! I wish!

Imagine if instead you had said: IM on strike!

Or: IM off for the rest of the day!

IM not taking any more messages!

IM not a servant!

IM going nuts!

The last message I received was:

IM gonna quit!

Presumably that refers to the application and not the person. Tomorrow I’ll know when I see the green (or grey) dot next to the name.

Me:

Do you want to be made to feel very hungry?

SNC:

No.

Me:

Look at this anyway.

SNC:

I don’t want to be made to feel hungry. I am hungry.

SFOS: *shaking hands with SNC*

I’m SFOS.