The Idea-smithy

I hate myself today
Didn’t call when I said I would
Basked in a compliment I knew I didn’t deserve
Smiled and fumed internally after I promised I wouldn’t react
Haven’t done oodles of chores that I should have completed months ago
Stayed in bed when the doorbell rang so someone else would get it
Brooded over the ten times I broke my promise to someone
And didn’t once think of how I said I wouldn’t worry and still did anyway
Am typing this when I’m supposed to be preparing for a meeting tomorrow
Am thinking what ‘they’ have done for me when I haven’t done much for them either
Am rationalizing saying I’m human.
Damn…wish I could get over beating up on myself

The quality of mercy isn’t strained
It dropeth as gently as the falling rain

Who ever thinks of being merciful or emphatic with oneself?
Its only self-pity…that’s all it always is. Damn…..

Weird but I feel better now.

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